Month Seven?!

Sometimes I chuckle when I read the title and address for my blog. Mom suggested that I might change the address as it sounded a little pessimistic before finalizing the whole thing. Still, as I continue with my posts, I am convinced I chose the right name!

For example, my roommate and I came back from Thailand and were in the office one day when she asked if I would just look at her head for a second as it had been itching like crazy. I moved a few pieces of hair not seeing anything too exciting. Then I took a closer look...hoards and clusters of brown bugs weaving their way through her hair, sucking her blood, and injecting saliva into her scalp to create an itching sensation....LICE!!!!!!
Not the little white nits alone, I am talking the full grown, mating, multiplying, big brown bugs amidst the white eggs dispersed through her hair. Not pretty. So strait home for a treatment. Only problem was her hair was LONG. On top of that, we had basically been attached at the hip the previous few weeks as we had been in Thailand and she had then moved into my room for slumber parties!
There ya have it: bugs in my hair too, nits on all our clothes, bedding, couches and other furniture. Oddly enough, our house became the place no one was really interested in coming over to and we were quarantined.
Just now, a month and a half later, I am taking my clothes and bedding out of sealed bags, washing them, and wearing them again. Praise the Lord above its over....for now!

Backing up, Christmas in Thailand rocked my face off. I saw old friends, met new ones, played on beaches, hung off the back of sung toas (open back trucks with benches inside), went on scooter rides, had REAL coffee, kayaked, went snorkeling, saw fire dancing, and was able to enjoy freedom of clothing options and freedom to explore God's creation and beauty. For the first time in a while, I took time to be still in God's creation...looking into the sea by myself. I danced and I sang and I wowed and awed at the things around me that he had created and perfected. He is lovely! I sometimes forget how beautiful he is as I am usually unable to get outside the city to see greenery, mountains, or ocean.
I found it strange that the thing I craved the most, to experience freedom, was the thing I was fighting for for others. The freedom to dance and explore through hiking and having amazing views in my backyard. Freedom to wear what I wanted and not be under the constant oppression of others' stares. Freedom to be.
I cried a lot pleading with God to not force me to return to this place. I wondered why he would put me in a place that cramped my style of worship and therefore negatively affected my relationship with him.
Though Thailand was beautiful and I had loads of fun; it was a hard place to be. Sex tourism was in your face and the selling of women for sex was condoned. I walked down the open night market aisles only to be approached and hassled by men trying to force their "menus" in my face. Whatever I would like, I could get...order it as if she were an item on a menu, a toy, a treat. She wasn't human or real, only her parts and her tricks were real. The perfect way to feel alive while being so not present...the shutting off of one's mind and the pushing away of memories of wives, children, responsibilities, beliefs, and more. How strange; how sad. I watched as a husband and wife walked down the street while pimp after pimp approached to offer this man “what men need”. His wife was RIGHT next to him, but unabashed, they pestered him until he pointed at his wife and said, "NO, I am with my wife!"
I saw a young Thai girl being pulled by her wrist by a fat European man. What do I do? How could I even begin to make a dent in something like this?
I felt desperate and sad. I had to continually remind myself that I can do a small part. I can refuse to be a buyer of sex, or laugh at jokes that involve strippers or "prostitutes". I can choose to influence and speak to the men in my life about what "sex tourism, porn, stripping" and all those things are really all about...the force, the coercion, the mental and emotional slavery, the community surroundings, and more. Otherwise, I feel absolutely small, inadequate and hopeless.

It makes me think of the Winter Olympic Games going on in BC right now. Women and children being trafficked up the I-5 corridor to supply for the huge sex demand in the city. The newly opened brothels, the indifferent police officials, and those that are trying to make a difference. I think of the fans....the "good times" groups of guys who go as some sort of sick team to rape and abuse girls together; the angry fans taking their aggression and rage out on the girl since their player didn't win; the lonely guy who wants to “feel connected" leaving feeling more lonely and leaving someone else a little more deadened on the inside.
When will it end? Why can't people be more outraged and men and women stop buying and supporting the buying of sex and people as commodities?
I actively await the abolition...

On a more positive note, work has been going well. Recently my main job has been the editing of family forms. These are the forms we use to document every interaction or conversation we've ever had together with our clients. Some of the forms I am editing over are anywhere from a few months old to 5 years old. It has been interesting to understand more of what these family's day to day lives look like, what it means to be from the caste they are from, what marriage looks like, relationships, etc. These reports are given annually to government officials so that they can know who they have helped rehabilitate, can feel involved and needed in the process, and can be aware of the ever present existing need that many families still face. Some, even from the year 2004, are yet to receive the rehabilitation money each bonded laborer is entitled to with the presence of a release certificate.
Part of this also means that I have had the opportunity to go on government visits to speak with RDOs, Collectors and so forth about the needs that our client's still have. Too bad for them, we will continue to pester them until our client's get what they need to start a life of freedom.
Apart from that, I recently did a training on sensitivity issues when dealing with victims/survivors of sexual abuse and violence. This was mainly in regards of how to appropriately interact with them when preparing them to testify in court. The training came out pretty well when combined with both aftercare team and legal team and there was a lot learned. However, public speaking is still NOT anywhere near something I enjoy or look forward to doing. The whole week before I feel the walls closing in on me, I am on edge, and I become a recluse to "prepare properly" which is more like stress to inappropriate and extreme levels!

Even with topics I find comfortable and I get passionate about, I get nervous. Last week I did a training for our young adults at church about domestic violence. I was excited/wetting my pants. I could talk about it just fine in conversation, but in a lecture? Yeah right! Thankfully, many people participated and answered questions and a few people even approached me afterward to talk about their own experiences with DV.
Though it was scary, I feel blessed to be able to share something that so many people struggle with or face in their own lives. It has challenged people and has awoken parts of them that I had never seen before. Its amazing what putting words to something and putting it into existence does. The light shines forth.

So here I am with about five months left of my internship. I am supposed to stay until July though many things remain up in the air for me. One of those things is my finances. Each month, my per diem for the month is released into my bank account. Unfortunately, February was the last month I was going to receive my full per diem. What I am hoping is that with the monthly givers as well as any extra money left in my account I can swing it, but right now, I might not make it until July.
That being said, I also must make it clear that I had hoped to visit a few other cities in India before I left this part of the world. This may make it slightly less appealing to give as part of it is not work related.
Either way, if you feel lead to give, please feel free to do so.
I thank you for those who already have. This time in India would not be possible without you and your donations have gone to helping real people. Thank you so very much.



Also, if you get a chance, please be in prayer for:
-Hiring in our office. At present we are looking to fill 15 open positions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 15!!!!!!!! I know, outrageous!
-Our new structural transformation project which we hope will enhance and strengthen our relationships with government officials, the media, people from the scheduled caste and tribe group, churches, and more.
-Qualified social workers
-Upcoming trainings for our aftercare staff
-That God will use me in whatever way he wants to and that I will remember that this is His story and I am only a small part in this great story. Its not about me.

On that note, If any of you decide that you`d like a change of scenery, make your way out to `South Asia’ because we would love to have you!
Thanks everyone! Much love to you all!