As I have expressed to some of you, this Tuesday will mark my one month anniversary of being in South Asia. This month has been good, yet hard and I am absolutely convinced I have actually been here at least 5 months by now.
I have had fun...I traveled to the Southern tip of this country to a point where you can watch the sun rise and set from the same location and attended a wedding; I have ridden a bike which is a feat in itself since crossing the street is the most life threatening thing you will have to do each day; I have eaten great food with my right hand; have seen more beautiful colors than I ever have in my whole life; and after bargaining back in forth with a man, ended up getting a free scarf which should have been 500 rupees.
Other things have been not so fun. I was sick for a little over a week and just yesterday got some sort of food poisoning. I have seen the abuse of dogs, children and women; the effects that idol worship has on a place; the earth cry out for restoration as the inhabitants defile, corrupt and trash it. I have smelt things I wish I never had; have had to pay to use bathrooms that someone should have paid ME to use and more.
Everything is much more intense here. In many ways, I hate it. At the same time, all the things I have seen here, exist back home but are more hidden...in a way, I am confronted by the way I live, the idols in my own life, the way I defile God's creation...I am confronted by reality and see how quickly my world can become like this.
I am thankful for the prayers that I know many are praying. I have felt peace and comfort when I know it was impossible on my own. I have been sick but felt God's calling for me to rest and spend time in His presence more than ever. My needs have been met over and again by Him.
I want to enjoy this time, soak it up, live in the present. Currently, all I want is for it to be over so I can come back to my comfortable, understandable, predictable life. I want control to drive my own car, I want to understand what people are saying, I want to not have to strain to understand the culture around me, I want the comforts of my life that I have taken for granted, I want to be with family and friends and people that know me.
Yet that is not what He has planned for me now. If you get a chance please pray that this time will be enjoyed..that I will not try to rush through something God has so truly blessed me with. I realize that this is what my heart has desired for so long...to be a part of this organization and this work. If I ever start complaining...you have my permission to scold me!
Anyway, thanks for listening!
I love you all!
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Hello my beautiful, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
"I know the plans I have for you said the Lord, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope....". He has not left you standing alone.
My prayer is that He will give you His heart for the people around you. More than just the pain, but the true enjoyment and love for a beautiful, colorful, crazy people.
He is truly working in and through you :) Am proud of you. He is your strength and your all in all....not your family, friends, home.....
I love you so much.
sar
oh my goodness, can we live in the present together? I've been struggling lately so much with just being still. I could NOT be hindu/buddhist/whatever that requires hours of meditation. Is that bad that I'm so restless and that I have a monkey mind that darts from place to place? Anyway, if you're ever thinking too much in the future, read proverbs 16...mostly verses 1-3 and know that in the end, HE decides our next steps.
ReplyDeletela la la...love you! xo